top of page

FAQ - Understanding what Shaped Us.​​

 

How much per session - are the packages/sliding scale available?

Pricing varies depending on session type and length. Some offerings include a sliding scale. We’ll clarify all options during the discovery call so you can decide without pressure.

​

What do we mean by “trauma”?​​

Trauma is not defined only by extreme or catastrophic events.
Trauma refers to how our nervous system adapts when something is too much, too sudden, or not adequately supported.

In simple terms, trauma is not just about what happened — it’s about what happened inside you as a result.

Trauma can form when the body and nervous system don’t receive what they need to feel safe, seen, or supported — especially in early life.

​

What is the difference between “big-T” trauma and “small-t” trauma?

Both forms of trauma are real and impactful.

Big-T trauma usually refers to experiences that are clearly overwhelming or threatening, such as:

  • physical, emotional, or sexual abuse

  • emotionally unstable or frightening caregivers

  • growing up in chaotic, unsafe, or abusive environments

  • witnessing violence or severe conflict

  • serious accidents, medical trauma, or sudden loss

Small-t trauma refers to experiences that may seem subtle or “not bad enough”, but still shape the nervous system deeply, especially when they are chronic or relational. This can include:

  • emotional neglect

  • lack of attunement or emotional availability from caregivers

  • parents who were loving but overwhelmed, depressed, or distant

  • emotional withdrawal or inconsistency

  • not being seen, mirrored, or comforted when distressed

  • being expected to grow up too fast

  • experiences of shame, dismissal, or chronic misunderstanding

Small-t trauma is often described as “what should have happened, but didn’t.”

Both forms affect how the nervous system learns to relate, protect, and survive.

 

How do unconscious beliefs affect trauma healing and overall wellbeing?

Unconscious beliefs are often formed early in life as a way to make sense of emotional experiences and stay connected or safe. They don’t arise as thoughts — they develop as felt conclusions about who we are and how the world works.

Common core beliefs shaped by early relational experiences include:

  • “I’m not lovable.”

  • “I’m not good enough.”

  • “There’s something wrong with me.”

  • “I have to earn love or approval.”

  • “It’s not safe to need others.”

  • “I must stay in control to be safe.”

These beliefs quietly organise how we relate, how we interpret situations, and how our nervous system responds to stress — often without our awareness.

 

What is a trigger, and why do we become so reactive?

A trigger is not the present situation itself — it’s the activation of an old belief and nervous system memory that has not yet been updated.

When something in the present resembles an earlier emotional experience — tone of voice, distance, criticism, rejection, being misunderstood — the nervous system reacts as if the past is happening again. This can lead to:

  • strong emotional reactions that feel disproportionate

  • taking things personally, even when they’re not

  • sudden shame, anger, withdrawal, or panic

  • a sense of being unsafe or unworthy without clear reason

Reactivity happens because the body is trying to protect against an old threat. It’s not weakness or immaturity — it’s a sign that a part of you learned to stay alert in order to survive.

​

How do these beliefs keep us stuck?

Even when we consciously know “this isn’t about me” or “I’m safe now”, the body may still respond from the belief “something is wrong with me” or “I’m about to be rejected.”

This creates a gap between insight and lived experience:

  • you understand your patterns, but still repeat them

  • you try to stay calm, but your body reacts

  • you blame yourself for being “too sensitive”

The issue isn’t lack of awareness — it’s that the nervous system hasn’t yet had enough experiences of safety to let go of old beliefs.

 

How does somatic and Self-Discovery work help shift beliefs and reactivity?

Somatic and nervous-system-informed work doesn’t try to argue with beliefs or override reactions.

Instead, it helps you:

  • notice how a belief shows up in the body

  • recognise triggers as signals, not failures

  • track what happens before reactivity takes over

  • build safety and regulation in the present moment

As the nervous system begins to feel safer, beliefs like “I’m not lovable” or “something is wrong with me” gradually lose their grip. Reactions soften, triggers become easier to meet, and situations are less likely to be taken personally.

Healing doesn’t mean triggers disappear — it means they no longer run the show.

 

How does trauma show up in everyday life?

Trauma doesn’t always appear as clear memories or flashbacks.

More often, it shows up as patterns such as:

  • difficulty feeling safe or relaxed

  • emotional overwhelm or emotional numbness

  • people-pleasing, perfectionism, or over-functioning

  • chronic anxiety or shutdown

  • difficulty trusting or relying on others

  • repeating relationship patterns

  • fear of closeness or fear of abandonment

  • feeling disconnected from the body or emotions

  • a persistent sense of being “too much” or “not enough”

These are not character flaws — they are adaptive responses.

​

Why do some people believe they don’t have trauma, yet struggle in relationships?

Many people assume trauma only applies if something obviously extreme happened.

If you grew up in a home where:

  • basic needs were met

  • there was no overt abuse

  • your parents “did their best”

…it can be confusing to understand why relationships feel so hard.

Relational trauma often forms not through harm, but through absence — absence of emotional attunement, safety, or consistent presence. When these needs aren’t met, the nervous system learns to adapt by staying alert, self-reliant, or emotionally guarded.

Later in life, this can make intimacy, trust, and vulnerability feel unsafe — even when love is present.

 

Is trauma always about the past?

Trauma is formed in the past, but it lives in the present nervous system.

This is why trauma often shows up as current reactions rather than memories — the body responding as if something is still happening, even when it isn’t.

Trauma-informed work focuses less on revisiting events and more on helping the nervous system recognise safety now.

​

How is trauma understood in the Self-Discovery Journey?

In the Self-Discovery Journey, trauma is approached with curiosity, compassion, and respect.

Rather than asking “What’s wrong with you?”, we explore:

  • how your nervous system adapted

  • what helped you survive

  • what no longer serves you

  • and what your body needs now to feel safe enough to soften

Healing doesn’t come from forcing change, but from creating the conditions where the nervous system no longer needs to stay in protection.

​

What if I’m not sure whether what I experienced “counts” as trauma?

You don’t need to decide.

If something shaped how you relate to yourself, others, or your body — it matters. Trauma is not a competition, and it doesn’t require justification.

In this work, we follow what’s present in your lived experience, not a checklist of events.

​

What are examples of experiences people often normalise, but don’t realise can be traumatic?

Many experiences that shape the nervous system are so common, cultural, or invisible that they’re rarely recognised as trauma. Yet the body doesn’t distinguish between what was “normal” and what was overwhelming, unsafe, or unsupported.

Some examples include:

• growing up with strong religious or cultural pressure that limited self-expression, autonomy, or emotional truth
• being born as a woman in cultures where having a voice, agency, or safety is restricted
• generational trauma passed down through families affected by war, displacement, poverty, or oppression
• being born in, or growing up around, war zones, political unrest, or chronic instability
• experiencing natural disasters or environmental trauma
• being born via C-section or experiencing early medical intervention
• early separation from a parent after birth or in infancy
• frequent relocations, moving countries, or changing homes repeatedly
• growing up in boarding schools or experiencing early separation from caregivers
• having an ill, overwhelmed, or emotionally unavailable parent
• growing up with a single parent who was under chronic stress
• losing a parent during a developmental stage
• accidents, injuries, or medical trauma in childhood
• living in environments that were unpredictable, unsafe, or emotionally volatile

Many of these experiences are normalised because we had to adapt in order to survive. The nervous system learned to cope — often by staying alert, self-reliant, compliant, or emotionally contained.

​

Why is emotional neglect or emotional withdrawal considered one of the most silent forms of trauma?

Emotional neglect doesn’t always look dramatic. There may have been food on the table, education, and no obvious abuse — yet something essential was missing.

When a child’s emotional world isn’t consistently seen, mirrored, or responded to, the nervous system learns that connection isn’t reliable. Over time, this can shape how a person relates to themselves and others — often without conscious memory of anything “wrong” happening.

This kind of small-t trauma is particularly silent because:
• there is no clear event to point to
• it was often invisible to others
• it was normalised within the family or culture
• it was adaptive at the time

Not feeling, minimising needs, or becoming highly independent are intelligent survival strategies, not weaknesses.

 

How do genetics, environment, and early conditions influence trauma?

Trauma is not caused by one factor alone.

The nervous system is shaped by a combination of:
• genetic sensitivity
• prenatal and birth experiences
• early attachment and caregiving
• environmental stability or instability
• cultural, social, and relational context

Two people can experience similar events and be affected very differently. Trauma is not about comparison — it’s about how much support, safety, and regulation was available at the time.

​

Why do we often minimise or dismiss these experiences?

As children, we normalise our environment because we have to. Questioning it would threaten connection and survival.

Many people grow up believing:
• “It wasn’t that bad”
• “Others had it worse”
• “My parents did their best”
• “I should be over this by now”

These beliefs are understandable — but they often prevent us from recognising how deeply the body adapted.

Healing begins not by blaming, but by acknowledging what the nervous system carried alone.

​

What matters most in understanding trauma?

Trauma is not a competition.
It’s not defined by severity.
And it doesn’t require justification.

If something shaped how you relate to safety, closeness, expression, or your own body — it matters.

In this work, we don’t ask whether an experience “counts” as trauma. We listen to how it lives in the present nervous system.

​

What is the Self-Discovery Journey?

The Self-Discovery Journey is a gentle, body-led and nervous-system-informed approach to healing that honours both insight and lived experience. It’s for people who may understand themselves intellectually, yet still feel stuck, overwhelmed, disconnected, or unable to shift long-standing patterns.

This work is sometimes described as inner child work (meeting unmet needs and suppressed emotions), shadow work (exploring ego and protective strategies), or somatic therapy. At its core, it’s about creating safety in the body so deeper self-connection, regulation, and change can emerge naturally.

​

How is the Self-Discovery Journey different from traditional talk therapy?

Traditional talk therapy often focuses on understanding and analysing experience through language. While insight can be valuable, it’s not always enough to create lasting change.

In the Self-Discovery Journey, conversation is used selectively — as a doorway into emotional and bodily experience. We may briefly use story to access emotions such as shame, guilt, anger, sadness, or joy, but we don’t dwell on or repeatedly revisit the past. The focus is on what is arising in the body now.

Healing happens through embodied, attuned presence — sitting with sensation and emotion safely — rather than talking through experience alone.

​

Is the Self-Discovery Journey a gentle process, or will it push me emotionally?

This work is gentle, consent-based, and paced with care.

Nothing is forced or rushed. The first priority is always safety — feeling held, seen, and regulated enough to explore what arises. Empathy, presence, curiosity, humility, and non-attachment form the foundation of our work together.

When safety is present, even difficult emotions can be met without overwhelm.

​

Is the Self-Discovery Journey safe for trauma or early attachment experiences?

Yes. Safety, pacing, and choice are central to this work.

I’m particularly attentive to early and pre-verbal experiences — where the body learned how to survive before words were available. Sessions unfold slowly and collaboratively, always respecting your nervous system’s capacity.

This work does not ask you to relive the past. Instead, it supports the body in recognising that the present is different, allowing new responses to become possible.

​

Who is the Self-Discovery Journey for?

People arrive for many reasons — sometimes with clear language, sometimes with only a felt sense that something deeper is asking for attention.

This work often supports people experiencing:
• emotional overwhelm or shutdown
• anxiety or chronic stress
• repeating relationship patterns
• early attachment experiences
• high sensitivity or nervous system reactivity
• life transitions, grief, or identity shifts

You don’t need to fit a category to belong here.

​

Do I need prior experience with therapy, meditation, or body-based work to begin?

No.

You don’t need to be experienced, embodied, spiritual, or “good at feeling.” Curiosity is enough. This work meets you exactly where you are.

​

Do I need a diagnosis (such as ADHD, PTSD, PMDD, or anxiety) to work with you?

No.

Some people recognise ADHD or ADD traits in themselves — such as sensitivity, emotional intensity, difficulty regulating attention or energy, physical or emotional fatigue. Others don’t identify with any diagnosis at all.

We work with your lived experience, not labels. Diagnoses can be helpful lenses, but they are never requirements.

 

What if I don’t identify as neurodivergent — can I still benefit from this work?

Absolutely.

Some people resonate with the language of neurodivergence; others don’t. This work supports nervous system patterns and emotional responses regardless of how you name them. You are not asked to adopt an identity to receive support.

​

Why do emotions or old patterns often resurface during perimenopause or midlife?

Hormonal and life transitions can affect emotional regulation, sleep, stress tolerance, and nervous system balance. For many people, this brings old feelings or patterns to the surface — even if they once felt resolved.

This isn’t regression. It’s often an invitation to meet parts of yourself that didn’t receive enough support earlier in life. Therapy during these transitions can offer steadiness, context, and relief.

​

How can somatic, nervous-system-informed therapy support ADHD traits and perimenopause?

ADHD traits and perimenopause can amplify one another. What once felt manageable may suddenly feel overwhelming — emotionally, cognitively, and physically.

Somatic therapy supports this convergence at the level of the nervous system, helping restore regulation, capacity, and responsiveness without forcing or overriding the body.

​

Why do coping strategies and masking often stop working during midlife or hormonal transitions?

Many sensitive or high-functioning people rely on coping strategies and masking for years. During periods of nervous system overload or hormonal change, these strategies may stop working.

This isn’t failure — it’s often the body saying it can no longer override its needs. Somatic work helps shift from pushing through to listening, allowing more sustainable ways of coping to emerge.

​

Is the Self-Discovery Journey meant to replace medication, HRT, or herbal support?

No.

This work does not replace medical, hormonal, or herbal care. Many people benefit from a combined approach. Sessions can support you in understanding how different supports interact with your nervous system, while all medical decisions remain with qualified professionals.

​

What if medication or HRT feels too strong or isn’t an option for me?

This is more common than many people realise. I'm on this boat too. 

Somatic therapy can support regulation, sensitivity, and self-understanding when medication or HRT feels overwhelming or unsuitable. The aim isn’t to remove symptoms, but to help you relate to your experience with more agency and less self-blame.

​

How does your personal experience inform the way you work with clients?

My work is shaped by both professional training and lived experience. I know what it’s like when long-standing coping strategies stop working, and when sensitivity requires a slower, more attuned approach.

This doesn’t make my path universal — but it does inform the care, humility, and respect I bring to each session.

 

What kind of support might be explored in Self-Discovery Journey sessions?

Sessions are collaborative and responsive. Depending on your needs, we may explore:
• nervous system regulation and pacing
• body-based awareness and grounding
• emotional processing without overwhelm
• breath and attention practices
• lifestyle rhythms that support regulation
• integration of external supports

Sometimes being deeply seen and acknowledged is itself regulating.

​

Is the Self-Discovery Journey suitable if I feel exhausted or overwhelmed?

Yes — and that’s often when it’s most needed.

This work doesn’t require motivation or insight. We begin where you are, and the process adapts to your capacity.

 

Why does the Self-Discovery Journey focus on the nervous system rather than symptoms alone?

Symptoms are real — but they are often signals, not failures.

By working with the nervous system, we address underlying patterns that influence emotion, energy, attention, and stress response. The goal isn’t to become someone else — it’s to feel more at home in yourself.

 

What if I don’t know whether what I’m experiencing is trauma, stress, or hormones?

You don’t need to decide.

These experiences often overlap. We work with what’s present now, allowing clarity to emerge through listening rather than forcing answers.

​

Is emotional release required for healing in somatic therapy?

No.

Sometimes emotions move; sometimes the work is quiet and subtle. Healing is about restoring flexibility and choice, not dramatic catharsis.

​

What is sound therapy, and how does it fit into the Self-Discovery Journey?

Sound therapy is a deeply embodied practice using vibration and resonance to support nervous system regulation, rest, and emotional release.

In one-to-one sessions, we begin with a brief check-in or intention-setting. Some people come to explore what’s beneath physical or emotional tension; others simply wish to rest and restore. Experiences vary and are welcomed without interpretation being imposed.

​

Is sound healing scientific, spiritual, or both?

Both — and you don’t need to choose.

Sound works through vibration, rhythm, and resonance, interacting with breath, heartbeat, and nervous system patterns. These principles are ancient and increasingly understood through modern science. Spiritually, sound has long been used to restore harmony and awaken deeper awareness.

What matters most is how your body responds.

​

I felt unsettled or couldn’t sleep after sound therapy — is this normal?

Yes, this can happen.

Sound can activate stored emotional or nervous system material, especially in group settings. This activation isn’t harmful, but it benefits from grounding and, at times, individual integration.

​

Why can group sound therapy sessions feel intense?

Group settings can lower defences more quickly. This can be deeply healing — and sometimes activating. Intensity often signals that something meaningful has been touched.

​

Why is a follow-up one-to-one session recommended after group sound therapy?

Individual sessions support regulation, integration, and emotional settling after activation, helping experiences land safely rather than remaining open-ended.​

​

Do you offer online sessions, and are they effective?

Yes. Most sessions are offered online via Zoom and can be just as effective as in-person work.

 

What happens in the first Self-Discovery Journey session?

We begin with a free 15-minute discovery call. If we continue, the first session focuses on understanding your intentions and what support feels most helpful right now. There is no pressure to share more than feels comfortable.

 

What if I’m not sure yet — how do I know if this work is right for me?

That’s okay. Curiosity is enough. The discovery call is a gentle place to explore whether this work feels like a good fit.

 

Are there any contraindications for sound baths or sound therapy?

Sound baths are generally safe but have key contraindications like pacemakers, epilepsy, severe mental health conditions, first-trimester pregnancy, and recent major surgery/implants (pins, plates), requiring doctor consultation; caution is advised for those with tinnitus, hearing issues, or severe sound sensitivity, where sitting further back or using earplugs helps. Always inform your facilitator about any health concerns for a safer, tailored experience.

​​​

Why does the Self-Discovery Journey focus on the nervous system rather than symptoms alone?

Symptoms are real, but they are often signals rather than failures. By working with the nervous system, we address the underlying patterns influencing emotion, energy, attention, and stress response.

The goal is not to “fix” you, but to help your system feel safe enough to respond differently.

​

What do you mean by nervous system regulation?

Nervous system regulation refers to the body’s ability to move flexibly between activation and rest. When regulation is disrupted, the system may remain stuck in alertness, shutdown, or disconnection.

This work supports the nervous system in gradually remembering safety.

​

How does the Self-Discovery Journey support nervous system regulation?

Rather than overriding symptoms, this work listens to the body’s signals. Through attuned presence and pacing, the nervous system learns that the present is different from the past.

Regulation emerges through safety, not force.

​

Is the Self-Discovery Journey suitable if I feel exhausted or overwhelmed?

Yes — and often this is when it’s most needed. This work adapts to your capacity. You don’t need motivation, insight, or energy to begin.

​

Why do coping strategies and masking stop working later in life?

Coping strategies often break down during midlife, perimenopause, major transitions, illness, or loss. This isn’t failure — it’s often the body no longer tolerating suppression.

​

How can somatic, nervous-system-informed therapy support ADHD traits, perimenopause, and PTSD?

ADHD traits, trauma responses, and hormonal transitions such as perimenopause often amplify one another. Changes in hormones can affect attention, emotional regulation, sleep, stress tolerance, and sensory sensitivity — while ADHD and trauma already involve a nervous system that works harder to stay regulated.

Somatic, nervous-system-informed therapy works at the level where these experiences meet: the nervous system. Rather than forcing coping strategies or relying on insight alone, this approach supports regulation, safety, and capacity in the body. This can be especially helpful when masking, pushing through, or “managing symptoms” no longer works.

regulation without forcing or overriding the body.

​

What is sound therapy, and how does it fit into the Self-Discovery Journey?

Sound therapy is an embodied practice using vibration and resonance to support nervous system regulation, deep rest, and emotional release.

In one-to-one sessions, we begin with a check-in and intention. Some people explore what lies beneath tension; others come simply to rest and restore.

​

Is sound healing scientific, spiritual, or both?

Both — and you don’t need to choose.

Sound works through vibration affecting breath, heartbeat, and nervous system rhythms. These principles are ancient and increasingly understood through modern science. Spiritually, sound has long been used to restore harmony and awareness.

​

I felt unsettled or couldn’t sleep after sound therapy — is this normal?

Yes. Sound can activate stored emotional or nervous system material, especially in group settings. This isn’t harmful, but it benefits from grounding and integration.

​

Why can group sound therapy sessions feel intense?

Group settings lower defences more quickly. This can be deeply healing — and sometimes activating — especially for sensitive systems.

​

Why is a follow-up one-to-one session recommended after group sound therapy?

Individual sessions support regulation, integration, and emotional settling, helping the experience land safely rather than remain open-ended.

​

Are there any contraindications for sound baths or sound therapy?

Sound therapy is generally safe, but strong sound sensitivity or acute psychological distress may benefit from individual discussion first.

​

What is Reiki, and how does it work?

Reiki is a gentle, non-invasive practice offered through touch and presence. Many experience it as deeply settling and restorative.

You don’t need belief or expectation. Approached with openness, Reiki supports the body’s natural self-healing capacity.

​

What might I experience during or after a Reiki session?

Experiences vary and may include deep relaxation, emotional release, sensations, imagery, insight, or simply rest. All experiences are valid and welcomed without interpretation being imposed.

​

Do I need a diagnosis (ADHD, PTSD, PMDD, anxiety) to work with you?

No. We work with lived experience, not labels. Diagnoses can be helpful lenses, but they are never requirements.

 

Can I take psychotropic medication or HRT while working with you?

Yes. This work does not replace medical care. Therapy can complement medication or HRT, while all medical decisions remain with qualified professionals.

​

What happens in the first Self-Discovery Journey session?

We begin with a free 15-minute discovery call. If we continue, the first session focuses on your intentions and what support feels most helpful now. There is no pressure to share more than feels safe.

 

What if I’m not sure yet?

That’s okay. Curiosity is enough. The discovery call is a gentle place to explore whether this work feels right.​

​

​What is masking, and why does it become exhausting over time?

Masking involves suppressing, hiding, or adapting parts of yourself in order to stay safe, accepted, or connected. It often develops early in life, especially in environments where sensitivity, emotion, or authenticity were not fully welcomed.

Masking can look like:

  • appearing calm while feeling overwhelmed inside

  • adapting quickly to others’ needs while losing touch with your own

  • minimising your sensitivity, emotions, or needs

  • performing competence, strength, or positivity while feeling depleted

For many sensitive or neurodivergent people, masking is rewarded — socially, professionally, and relationally. Over time, however, it requires constant nervous system effort. This can lead to chronic fatigue, emotional disconnection, loss of identity, irritability, anxiety, or burnout.

Masking isn’t a flaw. It’s an intelligent survival strategy — one that often becomes unsustainable once the nervous system no longer has the capacity to keep suppressing itself.

 

Are we all on a spectrum when it comes to trauma and personality traits?

Yes. Human experience exists on spectrums — emotional, relational, and nervous system spectrums.

Traits such as sensitivity, withdrawal, people-pleasing, control, emotional intensity, or difficulty with closeness are not fixed categories. They develop through an interplay of genetics, temperament, early relationships, and environment.

Two people can experience similar circumstances and adapt very differently. Trauma and personality are not about labels or diagnoses, but about how the nervous system learned to survive.

Healing isn’t about erasing traits or pathologising patterns. It’s about increasing flexibility, awareness, and choice — so responses are no longer driven solely by old adaptations.

 

What is Polyvagal Theory, in simple terms?

Polyvagal Theory helps explain how the nervous system responds to safety and threat — often without conscious awareness.

In simple terms, it describes three primary states:

  • a state of safety and connection, where we can relate, feel, and engage

  • a state of mobilisation (fight or flight), where the body prepares for action

  • a state of shutdown or collapse, where energy drops and disconnection can occur

These states are not choices. They are automatic responses shaped by past experiences, especially early ones. The nervous system is constantly scanning for cues of safety or danger — in tone of voice, facial expression, pace, environment, and relationship.

Understanding this helps reduce self-blame and opens the door to working with the body rather than against it.

 

How do breath, nature, and everyday mindfulness support nervous system regulation?

Regulation doesn’t only happen through therapy sessions or formal practices. It is supported through simple, embodied experiences that signal safety to the nervous system.

Slow, gentle breathing — particularly with longer exhales — can help the body shift out of stress responses and into greater steadiness. Time in nature offers rhythm, sensory input, and a sense of spaciousness that many nervous systems find inherently regulating.

Everyday mindfulness is about noticing — without forcing change — when the body tenses, withdraws, rushes, or softens. These small moments of awareness support regulation by bringing choice back into automatic patterns.

Importantly, regulation is not a solo task. Connection, environment, and co-regulation with others play a central role. Regulation grows through lived experience, not constant self-monitoring.

 

What is emotional, behavioural, or spiritual bypassing?

Bypassing happens when we use strategies — including talk therapy, spirituality, meditation, retreats, or personal development — to avoid feeling rather than to support feeling.

This can look like:

  • “I’ve talked about this in therapy, so I shouldn’t feel it anymore.”

  • “I meditate / go on retreats / did plant medicine — I know better than this reaction.”

  • using insight, language, or spirituality to override anger, grief, fear, or vulnerability

  • constantly seeking healing experiences without integrating them into everyday life

  • mistaking emotional withdrawal for regulation — when it is often disconnection from the need for relationship and co-regulation

  • avoiding triggers by staying distant, self-contained, or “above” emotional messiness

Bypassing is rarely conscious. It’s usually a survival strategy developed when feeling or needing others once felt unsafe or overwhelming.

 

What does non-bypassing healing actually look like?

Non-bypassing healing is quieter and slower. It involves staying with sensation and emotion rather than rushing to insight, meaning, or transcendence.

It allows anger, grief, fear, and joy without ranking them, and recognises that regulation includes connection and co-regulation, not withdrawal or self-containment alone.

Healing happens not through peak experiences, but through presence in ordinary, relational moments.

 

Why can’t bypassing hide in somatic, nervous-system-informed work?

Because the body doesn’t bypass.

In somatic work, attention is brought back to sensation, breath, impulse, and nervous system response — where insight, spirituality, or “knowing better” can’t override what is actually happening.

Rather than asking what you understand, the work asks:

  • what you are sensing now

  • how your body responds to closeness or distance

  • what helps your system feel safe enough to stay present

This gently reveals where bypassing has been protecting you — without judgement — and allows real integration to unfold.

​

How do unconscious beliefs affect trauma healing and wellbeing?

Most of us are not aware of our belief systems — because they didn’t form as thoughts, but as felt conclusions about how to survive, belong, and stay safe.

These beliefs often develop early in life, during emotional and relational development, and operate quietly in the background. They can sound like:

  • “I have to cope on my own.”

  • “My needs are too much.”

  • “I need to stay in control to feel safe.”

  • “If I relax, something bad will happen.”

  • “I don’t really belong.”

Even when life circumstances change, these beliefs can continue to shape how we relate, how we respond to stress, and how our nervous system stays organised. This is why people can be successful, insightful, or deeply self-aware — yet still feel stuck, anxious, disconnected, or exhausted.

Healing isn’t about correcting beliefs intellectually. It’s about understanding why the body learned them in the first place.

​

How does somatic work and the Self-Discovery Journey help when I’m not aware of my beliefs?

Somatic and body-based work helps reveal beliefs indirectly — through sensation, emotion, impulse, and nervous system response — rather than through analysis or self-examination.

Instead of asking “What do you believe about yourself?”, the work gently explores:

  • how your body responds to closeness, rest, or support

  • what happens when you slow down or let go of control

  • where tension, shutdown, or vigilance live in the body

  • how you react before you have time to think

These responses often point to underlying beliefs that were formed to protect you — long before you had language for them.

As safety and regulation grow in the nervous system, these beliefs naturally soften. They don’t need to be challenged or replaced — they simply become less necessary.

The Self-Discovery Journey is about meeting these inner adaptations with curiosity and compassion, allowing new experiences of safety, choice, and connection to emerge from the body outward — not the other way around.

​

bottom of page